Friday, April 30, 2010

The Pressure

no, not pressure like, external pressure.
feels more like internal pressure.
I feel like my whole head. from brain to skull to eyes to ears.
they feel like they're being pressed so tightly!
literally. and I can't seem to relax my mind!

sigh, I'll be stuck at the culinary competition tomorrow
since Eening's going to Bukit Tinggi, Elyas is replacing.
and I feel like there're so many things on my mind. I just feel like screaming and throwing things!
gosh, I need an anger release-ment helper.


Sunday, April 18, 2010


aghh, no school for a week.
but loads of homework!
ishh, now I feel like watching all the movies and shows in the world!
literally, like, owning every single one of them so I can watch ALL of them! :D :D

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Oof, Crisis

aghh, I've got soo much to get off my mind.
I came home REALLY happy.
I'd gotten 100 for Math and the collage looks good!
on the way home, just let my mind wander.
thought about how glad the collage is finished!
and the Al Gore board is almost complete!
just a little time tomorrow, it'll be done.
and then there're the class boards I have to fill in.
and then MYE's coming up in about 6 weeks.

reached home, planning what's left to do with the rest of the day, I see my mom by the table.
she's good.
all is(was) good.
I went to her room to clean up and to take out my contact lenses.
and she says "I hope you don't break anymore of your contact lenses"
and I told her one side broke yesterday. I was rubbing my eye and it came out, and it broke.
she scolded me.
a lot? saying I don't care how much they spend on contact lenses.
and I just do whatever I like (?)
so, the usual, I keep quiet and keep the argument, in the sense of both time and anger, to a minimal.
she just goes on and on.
and as she asks me why I'm so rough with my contact lenses (obviously a rhetorical question), I BROKE ONE SIDE! my heart stopped. I put them in the casing and I left the room.
I am still pretty scared.
maybe it's best I don't tell her?
but I'm 101% sure it isn't me.
it's definitely the brand of the contact lenses! -.-
or maybe the amount of time I've been keeping them for?

so, obviously, I noticed and so did the rest of the family, she's in a bad mood -.-
and when she's in a bad mood, she has NO idea how ridiculous she gets.
and how self-centered she sounds as if she's the only person in the world to have problems.
but, I guess everyone wants a little self pity.
leave it be, I went to SS2.

came back, Niahn decided to hide in her room.
mom heard the creaking of the door and asks who it is.
Niahn decides not to respond.
even after being asked multiple times. no response.
she gets so pissed, she starts shouting at her,
telling her that she asked so many times and why she didn't respond -.-

so, I think it's obviously she's not so happy. spending the whole evening trying to pick fights with everyone, and then telling everyone she's going through a lot.
my guess, she's either quarrelling with my dad
or, she's upset my dad couldn't come back from Seremban last night.

but here's the thing she's not seeing, making everyone else miserable just because she feels like picking on something, isn't solving anything!
2ndly, and this is most important, I have no idea why the hell she doesn't think about it, but, if she's lonely, or whatever the adjective is, she shouldn't be picking fights with everyone.
but making herself feel warm and cosy with everyone by her side.

she said, and I'd definitely NEVER quote (unless of course, I'm crazy mad), "this family is driving me crazy"

Sunday, April 11, 2010


I am sooo exhausted.
and I have no idea why.
I'm just so sleepy.
last night, I slept at 7:30.
not in the morning, in the EVENING.
which is crazy early.
and then I woke up at 3am and dilly dallied.
and then I went back to sleep and woke up again at 8am to leave to Eening's house.
spent the day with Eening, Kat and Wen Chien.
had loads of fun :D
with Jang Geun Suk as wellll!

after that, we went to Jiann Lee's house warming.
lots of laughter there.
but then I left pretty early.
went to Backyard with the parents.
and was going to fall asleep.
maybe I actually did!

and now, I officially have the Killers Live at the Royal Albert Hall dvd!
GAHHH, thanks, Katttt!

and I'm trying to burn a disc, and it's burning okay.
but then, once it reaches 66%, it gets problematic.
I have wasted about 5 dvds on that dumbass show -.-

sleep I shall.
going to school tomorrow. -.- at 11am! ekkk.

Friday, April 2, 2010


time for change?
sigh :/ in a pretty crappy mood
I'm thinking too much.
I'm always thinking too much.
I need to change that.
but, it's honestly much easier said than done.

anyway, putting all the emoness aside,
we've been working on the collage.
I have no started studying for ANYTHING.
and it's worrying me.
damnit, I feel so annoyed.
I know I only get this one chance to take SPM.
and I should give all I have to do my best.
but, I can't seem to push myself!

I am so pissed off now!
my mood is so badd!
somebody changed the settings on the computer.
and it really bugs me.
why can't people just USE the computer.
without having to click anything unnecessary.